


Galaxy Girls

by CandyGrouch



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Exploring the Galaxy, F/F, Fluff, Having fun and getting into trouble, Violence, Xenophilia, badass girlfriends, breaking stuff, you know how it goes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-25 17:17:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4969582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandyGrouch/pseuds/CandyGrouch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tak and Gaz find that they enjoy being around each other more than they enjoy being around the rest of humanity. They decide, after a fight in an alien bar, to stick together and cause some trouble around the milky way. Shenanigans ensue, and the girls find they might just be more than two people travelling the galaxy and breaking things.</p><p>And that what goes around, comes back around, to hit you even harder.</p><p>-----</p><p>Hey look, this one's got a playlist!<br/>http://8tracks.com/candygrouch/galaxy-girls</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Coffee Shops and Alien Bars!

Tak sat, idly, in the coffee shop booth. For all the things humans were _awful_ for, coffee certainly wasn't one of them. Well, depending on where you went, but this little shop was one of the good ones. Her favorite, actually, if you can believe she liked _anything_.

 

She gently itched at her scalp, her antenna twitching beneath her hologram. Whenever she went out for too long, her antenna got restless. For the disguise to work, she had to flatten them along the curve of her head, and boy was that seriously annoying after a while.

 

She brushed a strand of the fake blue hair away from her eye, tucking it behind her fake ear, and clicked her fake tongue.

 

Fake, fake, fake. Everything about her right now was fake. She hated that. If she didn't have to live here, on this pitiful planet, she'd just drop the disguise and start blowing stuff up.

 

She liked that, blowing stuff up. That was her second favorite thing, next to the coffee shop. And snacks.

 

She took a sip from the coffee (of which she specially ordered without water) and hissed a little as it scolded her tongue. Glancing at her watch, she growled.

 

The girl was late.

 

She blew gently on her coffee, and tried another sip. A little better. Another itch above her brow made her growl under her breath. She had forgotten to sanitize her psionic implant before heading out. She would need to remember to do that when she got back to her base. Sorry, her apartment, because that little jerk Zim had ruined her plans so hard she didn't even have the tech left to build even a tiny outpost.

 

And that Dib hyooman still had her ship. Add that to the list of things she had forgotten to do. Wait, no, scratch that off the list because she was working on that one right now.

 

Man, she really needed to keep better track of her plans.

 

Another glance at her watch and now she was starting to get impatient. Where was that stupid little-

 

Oh wait, there she was. The woman with spiky purple hair, staring at her phone as she strode through the coffee shops doors. Her thumbs rapidly poking at its glowing screen, screams and explosions quietly echoing from it's speakers.

 

She didn't look up when she sat down across from Tak, either. It was annoying, but Tak was in no mood to argue. She just wanted to get this done.

 

“Coffee?” Tak asked, staring at the waitress who was hastily cleaning a table. She knew how to negotiate, and the best way to start was to kiss ass.

 

“You buying?” Gaz replied, glancing momentarily from her phone at the blue haired women. She then grimaced, probably because the distraction had gotten her killed.

 

She clicked something, and the sounds started once again.

 

Tak rolled her eyes, but nodded. “Yeah, I'm buying.”

 

She ordered Gaz her coffee, of which she wanted black. Gross. Nobody likes black coffee. Whatever.

 

She studied the purple haired women, watching her silently while they waited. She had grown in all the right places, Tak thought, but immediately shuttered at the thought. Disgusting human filth, why would she even think that? She had spent far too long among them.

 

Still, she couldn't help but notice the curves of her waist, and the way her hair wasn't all prim and proper, a few loose strands snaking down over her eyes. It wasn't... Awful, Tak supposed.

 

Gaz's coffee arrived shortly, and she took her first sip. She was certainly a tough one, didn't even flinch as the scolding black liquid touched her tongue. She would make a good mate for someone one day.

 

“It's been quite a while, Tak. Didn't even know you were on Earth.” Gaz stated, finally, after dying again on her game and putting her phone away.

 

“Where else would I be? I don't have my ship.” Tak replied, a tad too much venom on her words.

 

Gaz either didn't notice or didn't care, however. “I dunno. Floating around through space, dead maybe. I mean it's been like, what,  _seven_ years?”

 

“ _Eight._ ” Tak corrected, before taking another sip off her coffee. It was cool enough to drink now, which was nice.

 

“Wow, really?” It was all small talk. A nice way to connect before they started talking business.

 

“I was honestly a little surprised when it was  _you_ on the other end of that unknown caller. How did you find my number anyway?”

 

“It wasn't hard. Your human internet has a lot of interesting, and morally questionable places.”

 

Gaz scoffed and nodded in agreement, taking another sip of her disgusting black coffee. Another reason to hate humans, Tak supposed, was the fact that they really had no taste in anything good.

 

“How much longer are you planning on staying?” Gaz asked, almost sounding like she was actually interested.

 

Tak knew better.

 

“Hopefully not much longer.” Tak hinted, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Yeah, I know. Business. Just trying to make conversation.”

 

Yeah, sure. Humans don't care about anything, just eating and mating with each other.

 

Disgusting.

 

“Your vat-twin still have it?” Tak asked.

 

“My... My what?” Gaz gave her a weird look.

 

“Your... Sorry, your brother. Still working on that.”

 

“Still working? You've been here  _eight years_ .”

 

“Yes, and I was an Irken soldier for over  _two_ _hundred_. You try assimilating into a completely new civilization.”

 

“I could do it.”

 

Tak scowled, biting the inside of her cheek. She had forgotten how much she  _hated_ Gaz's constant sarcasm and one-ups. Gaz tucked one of her fang-like bangs back behind her ear, and Tak watched closely. Maybe a little too closely.

 

Tak shook her head and growled. “Does he have it or not?”

 

“Yeah. Still sitting in Dad's garage, just like him. Moocher never moved out.” Gaz replied, rolling her eyes and gritting her teeth.

 

“God I hate him.”

 

Tak nodded, knowing exactly what she meant. She felt the same way about Zim.

 

“He's gonna let me take it?” Tak asked, although in all honesty it wasn't a question.

 

“He doesn't really have a choice.” Gaz replied, grinning evilly.

 

Tak grinned back. She may hate this human woman, but her scheming and mischievous mind was something to admire. She would've made a good Irken, in another universe.

 

“Why are you so eager to help me?” Tak questioned, finishing her coffee.

 

“He's always working on that thing. Right up until I got my own place. Literally  _every night_ . Sometimes I couldn't sleep because he'd be down in the garage welding something or pounding metal together or... I dunno, doing  _something_ annoying.” She replied, bearing her teeth in anger just thinking about it.

 

Tak growled, furious. Some stinking human had been touching her things, probably wrecking everything she had worked so hard to create.

 

She  _built_ that ship you know. With her own two hands.

 

Gaz, with a tremendous gulp, finished off her coffee and sighed contentedly. “Let's get going, then.” She stated, sliding out of her seat. Tak followed, paying the bill, and grumbling at her now empty wallet. Human monies were so easy to spend, and so hard to come by. She probably should've put aside rent money.

 

She could always sell some of her leftover tech on the Earth-circuit black market. But that's just less tech in her hands, and more in these filthy humans.

 

Not the time, Tak. Focus on the task at hand.

 

She glanced at Gaz, now a fully grown woman, and Tak relished in her new found height. She wasn't as tall as her Tallest, of course, but she definitely surpassed the average Irken Elite. The Tallest might even be scared at how tall she had become. Tak theorized that it was something in the Earths atmosphere that had given her the sudden growth spurt, but she couldn't be sure without the proper equipment.

 

They exited the coffee shop, the little bell making a tiny little ring as the door opened, and together the two women walked down the street towards what Tak could only assume was the Membrane residence. She had never been there herself, during her time on Earth.

 

“When you get your ship, are you just gonna leave then?” Gaz asked, startling Tak. She had almost forgotten the human was there, since she was so quiet.

 

“Ah, maybe. Might stick around a little longer. Maybe exact vengeance on Zim.” That was a lie, she never wanted to see that little smeet-faced clod again.

 

“There's a station nearby that I could pick up some upgrades from, though. That'd be a worthwhile stop.”

 

“Upgrades for what?” Gaz asked, again  _almost_ sounding genuinely interested.

 

Tak tapped the area on her forehead where her implant would've been, and then realized the human wasn't able to see it through the hologram.

 

“My psionic implant.” She stated.

 

“Oh, that's that mind control thing right?” Gaz questioned, glancing at her.

 

“Yeah. With a few more upgrades it could even be used to control objects and generate telekinetic force. Think... What's the world I'm looking for...” Tak racked her brain, trying to remember the word for that sort of thing. How could she forget a word like that? Seriously, it was on the tip of her segmented tongue.

 

“Telekinesis.” Gaz said, for her.

 

“Right, that one.”

 

“You could beat someone up without moving a muscle.” Gaz breathed, dreamily glancing into the air.

 

“It would do a lot more damage than that. It would  _literally_ be an unstoppable force. I could tear my enemies limb from limb, sitting on my couch and laughing.”

 

“Sounds like my kinda deal. Where can I get one?”

 

Tak had to laugh at this. “I'm not even sure your feeble human mind could handle it. It takes a lot of willpower, and frankly your species is just too underdeveloped.”

 

Gaz glared at her, a look that sent shivers up Tak's spine. “You think I couldn't do it?”

 

Tak looked away, without giving her an answer. They walked for a long while, without saying another word, until they came upon the oddest shaped house Tak had ever seen.

 

“Dad's probably at the lab. Dib is home though, for sure. Unless he's off stalking Zim again. If that's the case, this'll be even easier than I had thought.” Gaz stated, as they strode up to the front door.

 

She knocked three times, and then immediately rang the doorbell. Tak thought that was a bit of a dumb thing to do. Surely the knocks would have sufficed. Or even just ring the doorbell. Why do both?

 

Infuriating.

 

Gaz was almost about to ring the bell again, when the door swung open. Dib hadn't changed much in the face, but he had certainly gotten taller. At least that made his enormous head look a bit better proportioned. He had cut his hair, too. Not the stupid looking scythe, mind you, but the sides all the way around where shaved down to the scalp. It certainly looked better.

 

Still dumb though.

 

“Gaz? What're you doing-” Dib stopped, taking notice of Tak as the color drained from his face. How sweet, he remembered her.

 

“What's  _she_ doing here? I thought we blasted you off into space.” Dib spat, tensing like he was ready to swing on her. She wished he would give her a reason to destroy him, but he didn't move.

 

“First of all,” Tak began, pointing an accusing finger. “You didn't do anything. That was Zim. Second, I'm here for my ship, unless you're barbaric instincts have led you to utterly destroy it. If you've done that, then I'm here to destroy  _you_ .”

 

Dib swallowed the lump in his throat, but remained steadfast blocking the doorway. “Well, you can't have it. I found it, fair and square. It's mine now.”

 

Tak hissed furiously, poking him in the chest with her pointy finger. “You  _stole_ it.”

 

“Yeah... Well, I stole it fair and square.”

 

Tak roared, shoving the human aside and stomping into the house. Gaz followed suit, shoving Dib another time for good measure. “Where is it?” Tak demanded, glancing around the living room. It wasn't there, why would it be?

 

“I'll never tell, alien scum!” Dib spat, looking as though he had just won the Nobel prize.

 

“The garage is to the left, through the kitchen. The door is straight ahead.” Gaz informed, motioning for Tak to follow her.

 

“Gaz! Why are you helping the enemy!? She's an alien invader!” Dib cried, sounding betrayed.

 

Tak hated the sound of his voice almost as much as she hated Zim's.

 

“Because you've had your fun, Dib, and also I thought it would be funny. I was right.” Gaz replied, never even looking at him.

 

Gaz lead Tak through the kitchen and then through a door into a poorly lit, cold room that smelled like mildew and rotting wood. Humans were so unsanitary when it come's to their homes.

 

There, at the center of the garage, was Tak's ship. It looked almost good as new, aside from a few dents and scratches here and there. A tarp was trying it's hardest to cover even a small section of the ship, but it was failing.

 

Dib had painted it blue, the little... Whatever, it was an easy fix.

 

Tak beamed, cooing and running her hand over her ship. It's metal was ice cold, and Tak blissfully enjoyed the feeling. It had been  _way_ to long.

 

“Hey! That's Earth property now! Stop touching it!” Dib screeched. He reached out and forcefully grabbed Tak's shoulder.

 

Something inside Tak's PAK acted on reflex, immediately filling her with adrenaline and blood-lust as it initiated defensive mode.

 

She spun, bringing her fist around, and it connected with Dib's cheek. The force of the punch sent the human rolling across the floor, smashing into a large piles of boxes before coming to a halt.

 

Gaz chuckled. “A little overkill, but amusing nonetheless. Nice swing.”

 

“Thank you, I'm very proud of it.” Tak replied, smiling. That wasn't a lie.

 

She willed the ship to open, and much to her enjoyment it still did. It was good to see that age, and Dib, hadn't gotten to the ship's coding.

 

But of course it didn't, Tak had built this fine piece of machinery herself you know. With her bare hands.

 

Dib groaned and wobbled back to his feet. “What was that for...”

 

“Reflex. Also you touched me, don't ever do that.” Tak barked, snarling at him.

 

She climbed into her ships cockpit, the seat just as comfy as always. A little more cramped, though, considering her height gain.

 

She tapped the ignition, and her own voice replied with an almost threatening “Voice identification required.”

 

“How did _that_ get back...?” Dib wondered aloud. Clearly he had tried to delete her personality from the ships mainframe.

 

“Identification: Irken Elite Tak.” Take replied, leaning back into the wonderfully engulfing chair.

 

“Identification confirmed. Ignition.”

 

The ships engines blasted into power, before settling into a gentle hum. It rose a few feet off the ground, the tarp sliding off its sleek metal frame. Tak began checking the read-outs.

 

Engines online. Fusion core online, and holding steady. Stabilizers online. Atmospheric dampeners online. Weapons systems functioning at 78% capacity, she would need to work on that.

 

All in all, the pathetic worm Dib had done an okay job keeping the ship in one piece. Tak glanced at Gaz, who was watching with an almost wondrous gaze. Dib was standing next to her, looking less than pleased, his cheek already starting to swell and bruise.

 

Tak hesitated for a moment, reluctantly thinking. Gaz had done her part, but they never settled on a return payment.

 

Finally, she held out her hand towards Gaz in offering. Dib grinned brightly, clearly thinking this was for him, but a hard shove from Gaz wiped the smug grin off his face almost immediately.

 

“You want me to come with you?” Gaz questioned, hesitantly. It was clear she didn't trust Tak all that much, but that was okay. Tak was incredibly dangerous anyway, after all.

 

“Not forever. I figured the best way to repay you was to show you around outside your own solar system. You could come with me while I get the parts for my implant. You name it.” Tak replied, grinning warmly.

 

Gaz thought about this offer for a moment, so long that Tak's arm was starting to shake from exhaustion. Eventually, she nodded, and took the Irken's hand. Tak helped her aboard with a tug, much to Dib's grumbling displeasure, and Tak realized she may have misjudged just how much room she had in here.

 

It was a tight squeeze as the cockpit glass hissed closed, Gaz actually had to sit on one of Tak's legs and press her back against the Irken's chest. As the ship shot from the garage, Tak pulled the stick back and the ship blasted up and into the clouds.

 

It was a good thing Tak had installed the atmospheric dampeners, because the G-Forces would've crushed Gaz's fragile bones.

 

They shot up, out of the atmosphere, and into the inky blackness of space. Tak, with a quick touch of the watch on her wrist, deactivated her hologram. She stretched her antenna, groaning happily, and they caught for a moment Gaz's scent. It was sweet, but metallic almost.

 

Lilacs and blood, that's what it reminded her of.

 

Gaz, wide eyed and jaw slack with amazement, looked down against the glass and watched earth get smaller and smaller. Tak chuckled, watching her childish glee.

 

“I felt the same way when I first left Irk.” She stated, smirking.

 

Gaz glanced at her, regaining her normally indifferent disposition. “Yeah, it's cool I guess. Where to first?”

 

Tak rolled her eyes, typing in a the coordinates for a station that sold all kinds of high-tech parts, not far from there current location. “I would like to get these components before we get into anything too fun.”

 

“Sure thing. Will there be aliens?”

 

“ _No_ , there'll be _dogs_.” Tak replied, he words dripping with sarcasm.

 

“Bitch.” Gaz growled.

 

Tak chuckled, as the turbo in her ship engaged and together they sped towards the station.

 

It was a quick trip, quicker than you might think. The station was buzzing with activity, numerous ships of all different species gliding gently around and touching down into docking ports. Tak even spied a Vortian craft, which was incredibly dangerous, considering the Irken Armada was still hunting them down. Tak's being here might cause trouble.

 

She made a mental note to keep her head down. As easy as it would be to snap their Vortian spines, she liked this station and wanted to come back eventually.

 

She came around into a small, empty docking port and thick metal arms clasped either side of her ships hull, locking them in place. A tube over wavering blue light reached out for them, aligning itself with the glass of her cockpit and surrounding it, creating a sealed bridge. Tak opened the cockpit, and together the two of them floated lazily to the other end of the bridge, as a set of doors opened, revealing to them the community and hustle-bustle inside.

 

Countless aliens crowded the inside of the station, shouting and chatting and making headway for all kinds of different shops. A few of them took worried notice to the purple eyed Irken that had just entered the station, but most were too busy with other things to care.

 

Tak remembered this station, mostly, and knew pretty well where she was going. “Shop's this way, don't get lost.”

 

Gaz growled in annoyance at her, but followed as Tak lead the way. The shop was easy enough to find, and there were only a few patrons browsing the high-tech wares. Luckily Tak knew what she needed, and wouldn't have to bother wasting time around these disgusting creatures.

 

She grabbed up her collection of nick-knacks and made a beeline for the counter. The shop-keep was a male, from a species of sentient crystals whose name Tak couldn't remember. It wasn't important anyway.

 

He smiled fleetingly at her, but his eyes betrayed his calm demeanor. He was frightened that an Irken had just strolled into his shop.

 

Tak gently placed her assortment of electronics on the counter, and eyed the cashier down. He swallowed the lump in his throat, and then promptly cleared it, beginning to ring up each item. “Been a while since an Irken was in my shop. Here on business for the armada?” He asked, trying to make conversation.

 

Tak growled at him, not really wanting to talk to him.

 

He was silent for a moment, a bead of sweat forming on his brow. “This seems like an odd assortment of things. What're you making?” He spoke again.

 

“It's not the things I need, its a few of the components inside them.” She grunted, before tapping her implant. She glanced at the quickly rising total, and grimaced. Hopefully the Tallest hadn't locked her bank account. Irken monies were universally accepted, because of their incredible commonness.

 

The cashier finished quickly, and handed a specially made pad with a port in the center to Tak. One of her spider legs extended from her Pak, inserting itself into the port. After a moment of gut wrenching anticipation, it chimed happily and a little light turned green.

 

Tak released her breath, now realizing she had been holding it. Good, her bank account was still active. She wondered if she was still getting a normal paycheck from the armada. That would've been a gift from the gods themselves.

 

She picked up her things, stuffing them into her Pak, and spun on her heel. The shop-keep bid her a polite farewell as Tak strode out, Gaz following closely on her heels. “Now that we're done here, where would you like to go?” Tak asked.

 

“This place got a bar?” Gaz asked quickly, shooting a mischievous glance towards Tak.

 

Tak nodded, glancing back. “Yeah. Think you could handle space-liquor?”

 

Admittedly, Tak was a little nervous about that. Irken Squeedlyspooch were infamous for not being able to hold liquor. Tak would be drunk after the third round, but she wasn't about to tell Gaz that.

 

She had an Image to upkeep, after all. She would maybe drink one, two at the most.

 

“Try me.” Gaz replied, in a manner that almost sounded like a challenge.

 

“Fine then. We'll drink.” Tak hissed, accepting her challenge. She would have to steel herself to hold out, but she _would not_ lose a competition to a disgusting earth worm like Gaz.

 

They made way for the bar, entering it. The patrons inside fell silent as the Irken strode in, but after a brief confusion they were back to laughing and chatting with each other. Tak took a seat at the bar itself, the stool a little wobbly but it would suffice. Gaz sat across from her.

 

The bartender, a tall muscular Vortian with dark yellow eyes, bounced over to them on his double jointed legs. He looked shocked to see Tak, to which Tak would never be annoyed with, but Tak waved him over assuredly.

 

The Vortian lumbered over, resting his hands on the counter and smiling. “What'll it be?”

 

“Something strong.” Gaz replied, before Tak could even lift a finger.

 

The Vortian nodded, and looked to Tak for an answer.

 

“Match me. We're having a contest.” She hissed, glaring into Gaz's eyes.

 

The Vortian grinned, nodding in respect. “This'll be fun to see. An Irken and... Whatever you are, going at it. Thought this job had shown me everything.”

 

He disappeared for a few minutes, before returning with two small glasses of a cloudy colorless liquid. Tak picked her drink up, holding it out in a gesture of good will. Gaz clinked her glass against Tak's. Together, they knocked the liquid back with mighty swigs.

 

It burned the whole way down Tak's throat, and burned even more as it spread through her body. Tak forced herself to maintain a poker face, as her Pak sent a warning through her brain.

 

[WARNING- ALCHOLIC INTAKE DETECTED. INTOXICATION LEVEL: 43%]

 

Tak disregarded the message, making sure her Pak wouldn't send another. 43 percent already? The Vortian had tricked her! Filthy little mongrel!

 

Gaz hissed a little, twitching at the brow. “Damn, it's like liquid hellfire!”

 

Tak chuckled, but was immediately overcome by a sudden wash of dizziness. Her cheeks tingled. Shit.

 

The Vortian brought another round, and Tak had to ask. “How expensive is this stuff...?”

 

The Vortian chuckled. “Honestly, I kind of want to see her win. It's on the house, this one and the next.”

 

Tak was furious. How dare this Vortian filth belittle an Irken elite!

 

She had every mind to report his position to the Armada, but decided against it after some deliberation. Free stuff was always nice.

 

Take gripped the second drink, knocked it back, and slammed the glass down onto the table. It hit her way harder than the first, she could feel her face flushing. It would've been obnoxiously obvious that she was already tipsy.

 

She couldn't hold her expression this time, either, and cringed like an idiot. Gaz wasn't looking too much better, though, which made Tak feel a little better. Maybe the human couldn't handle this kind of alcoholic content?

 

Gaz licked her lips and slouched a little as the Vortian, to Tak's horror, poured them both yet another drink. She wasn't about to give up, however. She grabbed the drink, and with more than a little mental strength, downed the liquid.

 

She regretted the decision.

 

Immediately the world was spinning, but she managed to focus her inebriated mind on Gaz. The purple haired woman had a deep red blush across her face, and was grinning like an idiot.

 

“This wash... Wash a good idea~” She slurred, laughing a little at herself. “I shed wash. I meant wash. I mean- Hahaha!”

 

Tak was laughing now too, overcome by the drunken stupor. That liquor certainly hit fast.

 

“You hyoomans look so... So stupid! Just- all the time!” Tak laughed, pointing a wobbling finger at Gaz's nose.

 

It was so funny. Sticking out like that. She was so funny looking.

 

“Like, what even is that thin'?” She questioned, poking the protruding thing, which squished under the force.

 

Gaz scrunched her face up, and pulled away with a grunt. “Ish my nose. What about those!?” Gaz demanded, jabbing towards Tak's antenna. The flinched as her fingers came close.

 

“Those're my antenna's! They let me.. Shmell! And hear, kind of. And also they are real real sensitive so please no touchy!”

 

“Whattya mean, sensitive?” Gaz pondered aloud, as her fingers gently brushed across the inner curve of of her antenna.

 

Tak couldn't stifle the moan that escaped her lips, and immediately her hands covered her mouth. It was a good thing the alcohol was already turning her face a dark shade of green, because she was definitely blushing with embarrassment too.

 

Gaz sat, stunned for a minute, before bursting into rancorous laughter. “Oh my god!”

 

Tak growled at her, turning away.

 

“Oh come on now! Bartender, another drink!” Gaz spun on her stool, laughing.

 

The two women didn't notice the plethora of strange looks they were receiving.

 

The Vortian brought them another round, but these drinks were different. He also look a little nervous. He had probably realized the drinks he had given them had gone a little overboard, but he needed the business.

 

They laughed, and drank, and talked about nothing for a long time. The other bar-goers even joined them, and soon the bar was aloof with singing and joyous energy.

 

They were, actually, just finishing up an obnoxiously loud chorus of song:

 

“ __And it's all for me grog, me jolly, jolly grog!  
All for me beer and tobacco!  
Well I spent all me tin, on the lassies drinking gin!  
Across the western ocean I must wander!”

 

Tak was panting, standing on the bar counter, as the room erupted into cheers and hollering, everyone in the place was now completely wasted, whether or not they meant to be when they came in. Gaz was leaning precariously in her chair, her own laughter lost to the roaring crowd. This was more fun than either of them had had in a long time.

 

The bartender, at some point, had even joined in. He was shaking with booming laughter, and patted Tak on the hip. She didn't mind.

 

Carefully, she stepped down from the counter, trying to keep her balance as the world around her continued to spin haphazardly. It was then that things started to get  _ really  _ good.

 

Into the bar walked a small group of Vortians, dressed like soldiers, probably coming to investigate the ruckus. They were smiling at the scene, before their eyes landed on Tak. She knew they weren't happy about her, but she wasn't worried. The liquor was affecting her judgment, clearly, because there were at least four. No wait five. Tak couldn't tell, and she laughed about it.

 

The Vortians approached her, to which she grinned wickedly. Gaz stood next to her, wavering a little under her own intoxication. She almost fell over, but caught herself.

 

“What're you doing here, Irken?” The leader of the little band growled.

 

Tak chuckled, shrugging. “Well I thought we were having a good time!”

 

She waved her arm in the air, enticing a cheer from the bar patrons. She gave the Vortian a very smug look. He just snarled at her, bearing his softly pointed teeth. Tak shew him hers, in reply, which were far more threatening.

 

“We don't like your kind around here, Irken. Not at all.” The Vort growled.

 

“Actually, we don't mind her!” The bartender interjected, raising an informative finger.

 

“Yeah! Leave the little Irken alone!” Someone in the bar called, the rest of them loudly agreeing with him.

“Now, now...” Tak began, quieting the crowd. “If thish little shit want's to go, I'm not one to turn from a fight!”

 

The crowd cheered, pumping their fists.

 

The Vortian looked surprised, he had obviously hoped she would turn tail and run. He was wrong to think that. “Are you stupid, girl? There are three of us!”

 

Really? Tak glanced over his shoulder, but she could swear there were five. She blinked and shook her head, confirming there was only three.

 

“You's clearly underestimate an Irken Elite!” Tak beamed, puffing her chest out.

 

He tensed up, clenching his fists. They stood, nose to nose, for what felt like an eternity. It wasn't until, out of the blue, Gaz leaped forward and smashed her fist into the Vortian to Tak's left's eye.

 

All hell broke loose.

 

A chair was throne, smashing against another patrons back. Tak ducked under the lead Vortians punch, but slipped and fell on her ass. She kicked out, ramming her heel into the Vortians groin, and he doubled over. The crowd around them seemed to be fighting each other, as well. She wasn't sure how that happened.

 

To Tak's left, Gaz lifted the Vortian she had hit off the floor by his shirt collar, putting a second punch into his mouth. His lip burst open as he fell, spraying dark red blood through the air. She kicked him in the side.

 

Tak was impressed, and a little turned on.

 

The lead Vortian was up again, and lashed out for Tak's antenna. She flattened them along her scalp, and rolled to the side. She spun on the ground, sweeping his legs out from under him. He fell, smashing his head on the ground, and in a flash Tak was on her feet. She went to put a fist into the back of his head, but stumbled and fell into someone. The person turned, swung, but Tak caught it much to her drunken amazement.

 

It was Gaz.

 

“Lets bail!” She shouted, and Tak nodded. This had gotten out of hand.

 

They made their exit, leaving the absolute chaos behind them. A few security officers were sprinting towards the bar, but they did their best to act natural. The guards ran right past them, and the two girls chuckled to each other.

 

They were at Tak's ship in minutes and upon entering Tak immediately ditched the docking locks, and took off. “You know what I want to do now?” Gaz demanded, still slurring her words, leaning in and definitely invading Tak's personal space. Her eyes were glazed over and her breath was hot with liquor.

 

“What?” Tak replied, adrenaline still pumping through her system, ready for literally  _ anything  _ the human had to throw at her.

 

“I want to beat up Shim!”

 

“Haha, who?”

 

“Sh- Zim!”

 

That sounded. Like the best idea. Ever.

 

Tak screeched with laughter, yanking the joystick and taking aim for the direction Earth was in. The ship did most of the piloting, in all honesty. Tak wasn't very good at flying while under the influence.

 

They touched down in front of Zim's base, the sun having set on this planet, and together they stomped up to the door. The gnomes, which were supposed to guard from intruders, seemed to recoil at their murderous advance.

 

For some reason, and neither woman could tell you why, they were fuming with rage. The only thought they had was to beat Zim to a bloody pulp.

 

Again, they couldn't tell you why, they just did.

 

Things got fuzzy after that. Tak remembered pounding on his door, him answering, and then nothing but black.

 

But, so goes the exploits of a woman who had  _ way  _ too much to drink in a canteen on the fringe of some disgusting solar system, home of some even more repulsive primates. 

 

The fun had only just begun, Tak would soon come to learn.

 


	2. 'Big Mother'

Gaz awoke, slowly and groggily. Where was she? She was disoriented, sleep still trying to keep hold on her heavy eyelids. The pounding in her head didn't help either.

 

God her _fucking_ head hurt.

 

She was in a bed. No, not a bed. A couch. Pink, and so incredibly comfy Gaz almost didn't want to wake up. The walls were purple, the ceiling laced with wires. She realized, with a disgruntled thought, that she was in Zim's living room. She blinked and pulled herself up into a sitting position, gripping her temples as the pounding beat with disagreement to her movements.

 

Who's shirt was this?

 

The rest of her clothes were strewn about, but she took notice that Tak, sleeping soundly on the floor, was wearing her shirt. Gaz was wearing the top to Tak's uniform.

 

Her neck stung, and rubbed at it. She felt deep cuts, in a ovular shape across her flesh. A bite mark.

 

Tak's neck looked just as bad, deep green bruises scattered up and down the skin on her neck and shoulders.

 

Not bruises. Hickeys.

 

Gaz quickly realized what happened, and why she was feeling so refreshed despite the killer hangover. She groaned with regret. Not regret that it had happened, but regret she couldn't remember it. She didn't like _not_ remembering getting laid.

 

She glanced at Tak, who was snoring softly. A thin line of drool dripped down her chin. Someone had covered her with a thin blanket, but it was haphazardly thrown over her torso. Her arms and legs were sprawled out, spilling from the cover.

 

Gaz stood, shakily, and stretched, releasing her sleep tension. She carefully stepped over Tak, and studied herself in the reflective black television screen. Her hair was a mess, and purple lipstick was smeared across her mouth. Tak had similar markings all over her face and neck, outlining the hickeys.

 

She took despairing notice to the hickeys she had, far larger that anything Tak was currently wearing. Dib would lose his shit if he saw this.

 

There was a gentle whooshing sound as Zim emerged from inside his toilet. Gaz quickly pulled Tak's shirt down father towards her thighs, covering her privates.

 

Zim didn't look at her, however, and immediately turned on a coffee pot on the kitchen counter. His eye was swollen shut, cuts and bruises scattered across his face. He was wearing that stupid disguise, despite both Gaz and Tak knowing full well what he looked like.

 

He shot an angry glance at Gaz, which didn't faze her. In fact she shot him a threatening one back, to which he recoiled and turned back to the quickly filling coffee pot. Gaz scoffed, straightening herself and striding into the kitchen, suddenly being hit with a disturbing thought.

 

“What did you see last night?” She growled, getting uncomfortably close to Zim, in a threatening attempt.

 

“I only saw your fists, stink thing.” He growled back.

 

“You show up at my base with Tak, and then proceed to try and kill me. I thought she had come back to exact her vengance.”

 

He glanced at Tak, with a hiss. “Then I realized you were _drunk._ Then you gave me this.”

 

He jabbed a finger at his swollen eye.

 

“I fled into my base, which is far to advanced for you to bypass the security,”

 

Gaz had literally walked right in before. God Zim was an idiot.

 

“And waited for the computer to tell me you had fallen asleep. I was planning on just throwing you out, but the excitement had drained my Pak's energy reserves. I let you stay.”

 

He thrust an accusing finger into Gaz's face, which seriously pissed her off, just as much as his now high-pitched voice did.

 

“But do not think that I, ZIM, will let you stay any longer!”

 

“Shut up, Zim...” Tak grumbled, reluctantly sitting up. She blinked and yawned, stretching her arms. She immediately took notice to her uniform, the top on Gaz, and the rest strewn about the living room.

 

She also took notice to the bites and hickeys on Gaz's neck, promptly gripping at her own throat.

 

“By the Tallest... Oh jeez.” She looked disgusted with herself, which made Gaz feel a little hurt. That was incredibly rude.

 

“It doesn't count if I don't remember, though, right?” She asked, looking at Gaz.

 

Gaz growled angrily at her, and Tak caught the memo. “Right, sorry.”

 

The Irken stood, and lazily strode over to the counter. She leaned against it, quickly touching the implant on her head. “Oh, god, I shouldn't have drank so much.” She groaned.

 

Zim grunted in agreement, glancing at her.

 

“It was fun, though. Never thought I'd say that about you.” Gaz added, elbowing Tak gently in the ribs.

 

“Indeed. A much better time than I've had on Earth.”

 

Gaz nodded, silently having to agree with her. Earth kinda' sucked, but without the kinda'.

 

She, for just a moment, considered asking Tak to let her come with her across the stars. She dismissed the thought.

 

Why would the Irken even want her there? Whatever, she could ride out life on this planet.

 

Tak was actually thinking the exact same thing.

 

Zim gave them each a cup of coffee, grunting dismissively. They took the cups, and Tak's antenna wavered gently over the steaming mug, while she gave Zim a suspicious eye.

 

“If I wanted to destroy you, _Tak,_ I wouldn't do it with poison. But if you don't want it, I'll take it back. Gir will drink it.”

 

Tak shook her head, and blew gently on the steaming liquid. “Do you have cream and sugar?”

 

“Yeah. Gir likes to pick up things for waffles at the human shopping centers.”

 

He handed it to her, and Gaz watched in horror as she filled the cup with an obscene amount of sugar, and a enough cream to turn the coffee almost white.

 

Didn't she know you were supposed to drink coffee black!? That was the only way! You didn't get the full experience if you dilute it like that!

 

Irkens were so weird.

 

She took a big swig of the coffee, before gagging and grimacing in disgust.

 

“This is the worst coffee I've ever had!” She screeched.

 

“I hate coffee! I don't know how to make it!” Zim screeched back, defensively.

 

Gaz tried a sip, and Tak was right, it was god awful.

 

They drank it all, however, but did _not_ go back for a second cup. After a small argument, they convinced Zim to leave them for a moment. They stripped down and started collection of their clothes, and while the two of them were bare Gaz stole a look at what alien monstrosity had probably been inside her last night.

 

Female Irken physiology was was surprisingly human. That filled her with some small solace.

 

She kept watching Tak, though, while the aliens back was turned. She was thin, a fine hourglass shape. She was definitely one of the better looking women Gaz had been with. Gaz was almost jealous, if she wasn't so apathetic about other peoples opinion on her body.

 

Gaz was curvy, dark stretch marks were cut into her thighs like lightning bolts. Not like Tak. Tak's skin was smooth from top to bottom, and flawless in every aspect of the word. Not a speck of hair on her body, either.

 

But, of course there wasn't, she was an alien.

 

Gaz couldn't seem to find the strength to look away, not until Tak slipped her pants on. She tore her eyes away from the aliens form, quickly shimmying into her tight jeans. She clasped her bra on, and threw the shirt over it. She turned back towards Tak, who was clasping the straps on her steel-toed boots. The Irken glanced up at her, and smiled.

 

She stood and put her three fingered hand out politely. Gaz took it, and shook.

 

“I enjoyed myself, human, for the first time in a long while. Despite the events at the end.” Tak said, and shuddered at the image that popped into her head.

 

“Yeah, I did too. Wish I could remember that end part, though.” Gaz replied, with a wink that made Tak flinch. She was really put off about sleeping with what she considered an 'Inferior life form'.

 

Gaz chuckled. “Text me some time. I think I could probably bear talking to you.”

 

Tak nodded, but her face lit up with an idea. “Give me your phone!” She demanded.

 

Hesitantly, Gaz obeyed, and handed the little rectangle to her. Tak's spider legs extended, and cracked the phones casing wide open to get to the circuitry within.

 

“Hey!” Gaz shouted, lashing out for the phone protectively.

 

Tak pulled it away though, reaching into her Pak and pulling out a tiny purple chip. She slipped it into the phones circuits, the spider legs sparking and welding it into place, before they quickly put the phone back together. Tak handed it back to Gaz, who tore it from the Irkens grasp and looked over it suspiciously.

 

“With that, you'll be able to call me no matter where I am in the galaxy. No long distance charges, either.” Tak winked.

 

Gaz, nodding slowly, smiling back. That was rare, Tak should be honored.

 

Tak activated her hologram, and together they stepped out of Zim's home. Gaz was relieved, she hated that stupid place.

 

“So... See you later, I guess.” Gaz mumbled, and with a final glance they went their separate ways.

 

Gaz couldn't help but look back over her shoulder, locking eyes with the Irken that was also looking down at her from her rising ship. Tak looked away as soon as their gaze met, and the ship shot away towards the city.

 

Gaz felt... Weird. Something in her chest longed to go with Tak. She pushed it out with a grunt, however. How would she ever explore the galaxy? The Irken wouldn't have her anyway.

 

\-----

 

Tak made it back to her apartment fairly unharmed, aside from the gaping hole in the circulatory part of her Squeedlyspooch. She had parked her ship on the roof and turned on its cloaking system. She opened her apartment door, which she had forgotten to lock. Always forgetting things recently, she thought.

 

The apartment was mostly empty, aside from the couch, the little table, and the TV set atop a box that contained the entertainment system she hadn't found time to build.

 

Oh, and the piles of scrap electronics strewn about every corner. She grumbled, kicking the husk of a destroyed phone away. She stepped inside, closing the door and remembering to lock it this time. What if some human had waltzed in, and seen what little Irken tech was strewn about? Her cover would've been blown.

 

She could always install a DNA scanner into the doorknob... She was pretty sure she had the parts for that scattered around here somewhere.

 

She swept some half-finished inventions off the tiny coffee table and onto the floor, opening her Pak and placing the stuff she had just bought onto the now available surface. She studied them, hoping she hadn't forgotten something.

 

She hadn't. She was amazing, of course.

 

She sat on the sofa, pulling the table closer and catching one of the little electronics before it rolled off and into its assured doom against the hardwood floor. She sighed, placing it less haphazardly back on the table.

 

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught the destroyed face of Mimi staring lifelessly at her. She was hit with a subtle pang of disappointment.

 

She had tried to repair the little SIR unit once, but much of Gir's code had overwritten the previous programming on the robot's hard drive. Now she was just more spare parts. It made Tak sad, she had been such a faithful companion. It got lonely sometimes without her.

 

Tak got back to the task at hand, using her spindly fingers and her spider legs to disassemble her assortment of gadgets to get to the treasure troves within. When she had found the pieces she needed, she swept the leftover junk onto the floor. More spare parts.

 

She reached up, and disconnected her implant. There was a slight tingle in her skull as it came away, the needle at the end sliding out of the soft tissue of her brain. The other end pushed itself from her Pak, the actual generator a bulky block of wiring and microchips. She was left with a half-empty Pak and a little hole straight through her head.

 

A few hours of work, a few adjustments here, a new piece over there. Total overhaul to the output capacity and bingo! The implant made a soft chiming noise, one of the internal lights glowing a soft purple. Tak grinned at her handiwork.

 

She was such a genius.

 

She quickly rubbed the needle with a viscous green sanitizing lubricant. Her spider legs re-attached the generator to the inside of her Pak, and very carefully she poked the needle against her brain. It tingled, but she had to steady herself. One wrong move and she was dead.

 

She took a deep breath, held it, and slipped the needle back into the gray matter. To her relief she didn't die instantly. She felt a sudden surge of energy wash over her, the implant's new found power pulsing through her entire being.

 

She cracked her neck as the implant reconnected with the metal ring in which it sat. She wanted to try it out as soon as possible.

 

She glanced around for something suitable to try out, and her eyes landed on half a combustion engine from an Earth wheeled vehicle. A car, she remembered.

 

She focused, and willed the engine to lift. To her great pleasure, it did. To her even greater displeasure, it did much to fast. It shot up, slamming into the ceiling and destroying the drywall it was made of.

 

The engine didn't come back down, and Tak realized with a start that she wouldn't be getting the deposit back.

 

She did gleefully laugh, however, because the telekinesis upgrade worked! _Man_ , she was a genius! There wasn't an Irken alive smarter than her, she thought.

 

She would need to work on controlling it, though. It generated a lot more force than she had estimated.

 

Her phone rang, the alert a simple two tone chime. A text message.

 

It was Gaz. The message read:

 

“ _Meet me here.”_

 

Tak was confused, but then realized there was a picture attachment. She opened it, and it was a photo of her favorite coffee shop. A second message came nothing short of two seconds later.

 

“ _Now.”_

 

Tak grumbled to herself. How dare that frail, pathetic human try to order her around. She decided to comply, however. She wanted _someone_ to see her superior intellect. She put her phone away, re-activated her hologram, and strode for the front door.

 

She _remembered_ to lock it this time, and quickly climbed the stairs to the roof.

 

Someone had stolen her ship!

 

Tak panicked, eyes darting around searching for her ship. She remembered, and scolded herself for being so stupid.

 

She touched her watch, questioning why she was forgetting things so much lately. The crash all those years ago? Who knew.

 

The ship materialized out of nothingness, the glass cockpit already open. She sure was glad to have this thing back.

 

She didn't expect any of these incompetent humans to take notice to her ship as she flew, but she kept it above the cloud layer just in case. The GPS pinged, giving her the green light. She came to a dead halt, and the ship turned invisible in the air. It began to plummet towards the earth, the coffee shop quickly growing larger beneath it. Again, it came to a dead halt, just before smashing through the roof of the shop.

 

She climbed out, careful not to be seen, and slid expertly down the shops slanted roof. She landed quietly on her feet to the side of the building, and snuck around to the front. She glanced left and right, making sure no one had seen her.

 

They hadn't, of course. Human's never notice anything.

 

She walked inside, scanning the patrons for Gaz. There she was, in the same booth they had met in yesterday. She glanced at Tak and waved her over. She looked like something important was on her mind.

 

Tak joined her, sliding into the seat across from her. There was already a coffee waiting for her. She tested it. It was nicely cooled, and more importantly, it wasn't made with water.

 

She took a hearty drink, sighing happily. “Thank you.” She breathed.

 

“I want to leave.” Gaz grumbled, staring her down.

 

“We just got here.” Tak replied, raising a questioning eyebrow.

 

“Not the shop. The Earth. Yesterday you said I wasn't coming with you forever, but that's what I want. I want to see the stars. I want to break shit on _other_ planets.”

 

Tak was surprised, but something inside her was alight with warmth. Also, she felt a little nervous about the whole ordeal. She still had all those half-baked concoctions in her apartment, and not to mentions the apartment's rent and...

 

Wait. She was an aspiring _Irken Invader_ , why did she care about such trivial human things? The answer: She didn't. She was tempted to take up Gaz's offer, but needed to know Gaz's desires too.

 

“Why?” Tak asked, taking another sip of her coffee.

 

“Look around. I don't _like_ these people. Frankly I don't much like you, either, but at least you're tolerable. And I think we both saw how good a team we made in that alien bar last night.” Gaz replied with a hushed hiss.

 

“Other species aren't much better.”

 

“And that will give me a chance to reign terror down on other beings. Humans are predictable, you know _just_ what to say to make them submit. Also, most of them smell and frankly I'm sick of it. Space _has_ to be better than this.”

 

Tak nodded. It _was_ true, a lot of humans smelled.

 

“But we're going to need to get a bigger ship. Something with a shower and bedrooms.”

 

Tak grinned. “And just what makes you think I'm going to accept you?”

 

Gaz growled. “You will. Besides, I've already canceled what was left of my lease and said my goodbyes to Dib.”

 

Tak had to hand it to Gaz, when she wanted something she got it.

 

Tak nodded in acceptance. “Fine, you can come. I think I know just the place where we can find ourselves a bigger ship.”

 

She hesitated, remembering her own ship.

 

“But I'm not getting rid of mine.”

 

There was no way in a fiery hell that Tak would let go of her ship.

 

She _built_ that thing all by herself, you know.

 

“I didn't... Say you had to?” Gaz questioned.

 

Tak finished her coffee with a final gulp, realizing that it was the same tactic she had used on Gaz just a day ago. Butter up the enemy before negotiating.

 

Tak was filled with a proud warmth.

 

“Hey, I wanted you to see this.” Tak hissed, glancing at a tall, slender man now walking through the door. She pointed at him, urging Gaz to look. When she did, Tak flicked her finger to the side. An invisible force swept the man off his feet, into the air, and then onto the ground with a loud thump. To anyone else, it would've looked like he slipped. Hell, he probably thought he slipped too, but Gaz knew.

 

“You got your upgrade?” She asked, grinning mischievously.  
  
“I'm better than ever.” Tak replied, chucking evilly.

 

“Shall we go, then?”

 

“We shall.”

 

They left, ditching the tab. The next in a long list of illegal things to come.

 

Tak made a quick stop at her apartment, taking more obviously alien tech, and leaving a little note for her dick of a landlord. It had two simple words: Fuck You.

 

\-----

 

The place Tak took Gaz was only describable as a used car lot, but with ships of all shapes and sizes, and they browsed. Eventually, they settled on an enormous, rectangular shaped ship. It's cockpit was towards the top right corner, if you were looking at it from the side. It had two huge, square engines on either side of it. Two plasma turrets rested on either side of the ship, as well. It was fast, apparently, which is what they needed. The weapons systems would hold their own in a fight, but they could use a little work. One bedroom, one sanitation chamber. Full kitchen, which was useful because according to Tak fast food out in the cosmos was expensive.

 

All in all, Gaz felt like they had just decided to by a giant RV. With guns. And also in space. Everything so far had happened so fast, it was all a blur.

 

It made her feel weird, but that feeling was overcome tenfold by the joy and excitement rising in her gut. This was for real, they were really going to just... Take off, no pun intended.

 

When the dealer, a huge orange blob of a man with a single eye, told Tak the price she nearly fainted. Gaz couldn't help but feel for her, the price was absolutely outrageous.

 

But, with quick thinking and a spark that shot across Tak's eyes, the dealer told them they could just take it, with a smile far too wide to be natural.

 

Gaz laughed, patting Tak on the back. “Good thinking.”

 

“I am the greatest, I know it.” She replied. Tak parked her ship in the bigger ships hangar bay, which was a set of opening doors on the bottom of the ship, and opened a boarding hatch just a few feet from the hangar. Gaz climbed the ladder, but sprinted for the cockpit. She got lost for a minute, the ship a whole lot bigger on the inside, but eventually she found it.

 

And, as an added bonus, she had beaten Tak there.

 

She took the controls, pressing the big button she could only assume was the 'On' button, and much to her pleasure the ships engines blasted to life. She had flown Tak's ship once before, how hard could this be?

 

Not very hard, apparently, as the ship lifted off and shot out into space. Tak came barging in, looking furious.

 

“How dare you pilot my ship?” She screeched.

 

Gaz shot her a look. “Uh, you mean _our_ ship. I'm here too, ya' know. And I can fly it, see?”

 

Tak glanced at Gaz's hands, expertly gripping and steering the spaceship. She finally nodded, reluctantly. At least she wouldn't have to worry about being the sole one to get them out of a sticky situation.

 

“Also,” Gaz began. “We can't keep calling her ' _ship_ '. She needs a name.”

 

Tak grunted with agreement, resting her chin on her hand and her elbow on her hip. “What did you have in mind?”

 

“I dunno. What about ' _Big Mother?_ '”

 

Tak stifled a laugh, which made Gaz groan. “What's wrong with that?” She demanded, angrily.

 

“What does it even _mean_? A ships name should have _meaning_.” Tak replied, smugly.

 

“It does have meaning! She big, and she's a mother-fucker!”

 

“That sounds incredibly rude!”

 

“It's not rude in the right context!”  
  


“In this context, it's rude!”

 

“We're keeping it. Her name is _Big Mother.”_

 

Tak snarled, but gave in. She didn't want to fight Gaz, and the more she thought about it the more the name was growing on her. Though she would probably just say _Mother_ for short. Mostly to piss Gaz off.

 

“I want to paint this thing as soon as possible.” Tak stated, changing the subject. The ship was currently a vomit-green. It would look much better in pink's and purple's. Maybe some crimson.

 

“I'm okay with that. I never really minded the Irken color scheme. Also, you need to paint your own ship as well. I _do_ mind my brothers taste in blue and gray.” Gaz replied, rolling her eyes.

 

Tak sighed angrily. She had almost forgotten that, too.

 

“Well, we've got the ship... What now?” Gaz asked, pressing what she assumed was the auto-pilot (correct again) and standing from the captains chair.

 

What a silly question, Tak thought. What was the first thing you do when you get a new ship? You christen it!

 

“While I was docking my ship, I had the dealer throw in some 'complementary' bottles of...”

 

She reached into her Pak, grabbing the things that had diverted so much time and allowed Gaz to take the pilots seat.

 

She drew the two bottles of Vortian rum from the metal sphere, smiling brightly. “Rum!”

 

“Drinking again? You haven't even gone a day!” Gaz laughed, but took the bottle. She wasn't about to turn down a good time. They made their way to the kitchen area, which was better than most high-end homes had back on earth. It had a full, six burner stove, a big device Gaz recognized as a fridge, and a little bar that the sink was built into complete with three bar stools. Tak searched the metal cupboards, before drawing two fancy glass cups.

 

They each poured a drink from their own bottles, sat on the benches and began another round of 'Dink Until You Die, Probably', a fun new game show who's only contestants were an angry purple haired Human and an Irken with too much free time.

 

They sat and talked about their lives, draining cup after cup of the rum, and genuinely enjoyed each other' company. Tak told Gaz about how Zim had blown up power to half a planet, causing her to miss her invader test, and Gaz told Tak about how she had found out that Dib and her were actually clones of Dr. Membranes DNA.

 

The bottles got less and less full, and the two women's brains got more and more full of dizzying intoxication. They swapped storied about their childhood, Tak's much less normal and much more filled with bloodshed and rigorous training. Gaz also had to laugh at the word 'smeet'. Her drunken mind found that incredibly funny.

 

It all, once again, got a little hazy after that. Gaz thought that at some point she had gone to bed, specifically because the two girls had to share one giant queen sized mattress, and Tak hogged all the covers.

 

She remembered her dream, though. It was hot, filled with horse moaning and ragged, panting breaths. Tak was in it, which wasn't unusual since she had been sleeping next to Gaz the entire night. Gaz remembered the feel of razor sharp teeth on her thighs, the sweet scent of Irken skin in her nostrils, and the glimmering reflection of Tak's eyes in the nebula light coming in through the only window in the room.

 

She remembered thrusting, didn't remember what that was about, but one particular scene stood out the most to her. A breathy moan of a demand that involuntarily pushed it's way from her own lips.

 

“ _Conquer me~!”_

 

She of course thought this was all just a fantastic, vivid dream she was having.

 

It wouldn't be until she awoke that she would see the vicious, hungry bites along her legs, the bruises of hands squeezed tightly around her neck, and the disappointment of another forgotten night, that she would realize it hadn't been a dream.

 

And that she had, _yet again_ , missed out.

 


	3. Pirates!

Gaz was awoke, with a start, as the ship lurched gently. She shot up. Where they under attack? They hadn't even been out here a day! Or... However time worked off-planet.

 

Tak grumbled, shifting under the covers. “It's just solar turbulence... We must be near a sun...” She moaned, her eyes half-open and glazed over.

 

Gaz quickly took notice to the cuts and bites and bruises etched into her skin. She grumbled, pissed that she had missed another round of xenophilic nightly escapades. Tak, lying shirtless on her stomach, had long scratches cutting deep into her green back, curving around the large metal Pak on her spine.

 

She had closed her eyes again, but she wasn't snoring.

 

“Why do we only do this when we're drunk?” Gaz mumbled aloud, swinging her legs off the side of the bed and pulling her underwear over them.

 

“Do what?” Tak mumbled.

 

“We had sex again, last night.”

 

Tak groaned with disgust, which Gaz was really starting to hate.

 

“I don't have sexual desire's while sober. My Pak inhibits them, to make me a better soldier.”

 

“So, what? I'm just a drunken mistake?” Gaz growled, standing and throwing on the top to Tak's uniform. If anything, she would start collecting trophies. That was sure to piss Tak off.

 

“It's nothing like that.” Tak replied, now beginning to slowly rise from the bed.

 

“Sure seems like it, with the faces you make afterward.”

 

“You're a disgusting worm. I would be lowering myself to mate with you sober.”

 

“That's... Not a better answer. I've got half a mind to destroy you.”

 

“I'd like to see you try human.”

 

Gaz snarled, and stormed off to the kitchen. She arrived, her belly grumbling, and found great displeasure in the empty fridge.

 

Tak shuffled in behind her, slouched and slow with exhaustion. She hadn't bothered to put on clothes.

 

“We don't have any food.”

 

“Really? Well, I guess we know what our first stop will be. But first, coffee.”

 

“If we don't have food, what makes you think we will have coffee.”

 

In reply, Tak reached into her Pak and pulled out a small device that looked almost like a Thermos.

 

“Made this guy one night while I was bored. I don't like to use it, the coffee isn't very good, but it'll suffice.” Tak beamed, smiling proudly.

 

“Oh, well... Okay. Coffee, I guess.” Gaz replied, taking a seat at the bar.

 

The little device bred coffee from nothingness. 'A small scale fabricator', Tak had called it. Gaz was impressed for only a second, before learning that it could only produce coffee.

 

The coffee was also bitter to no small extent. It was almost too much for Gaz to choke down, but she managed. What a useless device.

 

They sat there for a long while, Gaz growing hungrier with each passing minute, until finally Tak was ready to go.

 

They changed back into their own clothes, after a brief stubborn denial from Gaz.

 

Tak took the Pilot seat, Gaz leaning over her. While Tak flew, Gaz was lost in thought.

 

She and Tak had slept together twice now, regardless if neither of them could remember it. They ran away together. They lived together. Hell, they sleep in the same _bed._ Did that... Did that make them a couple? I mean, the thought wasn't _foreign_ to Gaz, she understood it's meaning and the commitment. But did Tak?

 

Gaz had other women before the alien of course, she wasn't a total loner. Everyone needs a good lay every now and again, but this thing with Tak... This wasn't that, Gaz could feel it in her chest that something about the way Tak was treating her was different. She had to ask.

 

“Tak?” She began, drawing the Irkens attention.

 

“Hm?” Tak grunted, her eyes glued to the asteroid field she was steering them into. How far from Earth had they drifted already?

 

“Are we...” Gaz hesitated, trying to find the right words. “Are we dating?”

 

Tak's antenna wiggled with questioning. “Are we what?” She asked. “I'm not familiar with that term.”

 

Seriously? Eight years on earth and she hadn't learned that term?

 

“Am I your girlfriend? Are you mine? What's going on here?”

 

Tak almost sent them to an untimely demise against an asteroid, as the spit caught in her throat and she coughed hoarsely. “ _WHAT!?”_

 

Gaz, wanting no part in this nonsense, leaned in closer to the Irken with a threatening snarl.

 

“Am I. Your girlfriend?” She asked again, much more demanding.

 

“I... You know...” Tak stammered, trying to re-collect her shattered thoughts.

 

“I hate to admit it... Like, I _really_ hate to admit it... But I guess that's what we are, aren't we?” She finally answered, glancing up at Gaz.

 

Gaz nodded, crossing her arms. “That's what I thought. All right, girlfriends it is.” She stated, the entire beginning of their relationship seeming very unprofessional.

 

“I suppose... At least you're easier on the eyes than most other humans.” Tak replied, with what _almost_ sounded like a compliment. Gaz decided to take it.

 

“The same for you.” She replied.

 

Tak nodded in agreement, the egotistical jerk, and Gaz took notice that the ship had stopped moving. Tak had parked them behind an asteroid close to the fields edge.

 

“What are we doing?” Gaz asked.

 

“Hunting.” Tak replied, with an evil sounding hiss. “This belt borders one of the most frequented trade routes. We'll ambush the first ship that comes around. Cripple the ship, board it, and take everything they've got.”

 

Gaz liked it. Roll in there, knock out the crew, steal shit. They were true space pirates.

 

“But how is this going to help us get food?”

 

“You don't think that the other ship will have food?”

 

“Right. Dumb question.”

 

They waited for a long while, and Tak was tinkering with a bunch of her little devices, attaching them together. A gun, Gaz realized, after the parts all came together into a distinguishable shape. It was chunky, wire and circuitry hung loose and exposed from it frame, but the end glowed with a soft blue light. Tak handed the weapon to Gaz, smiling.

 

“You know how to use that thing?” She asked.

 

Gaz took it with a growl. “Of course I do. Why do I need it is the real question?”

 

“Do you think this is a cartoon?” Tak asked, talking to Gaz like she was a child. “The other crew is going to defend themselves, Gaz. That's for _killing_ them.”

 

Gaz's heart sank. For a moment, she had forgotten that Tak was a from a species of ruthless killers. But she pushed the feeling of dread away. She hadn't killed another life form before, but how hard could it be? Just pull the trigger and _poof_ , no more alien.

 

She swallowed the lump in her throat. Yeah, easy.

 

The waited for a while longer, before an instrument on the pilots controls started beeping softly. A hologram of three dimensional space appeared just next to the flight wheel. On it was a green dot, their ship, and a blinking red dot quickly approaching from the left.

 

Tak snickered. “Let the fun begin.”

 

She grabbed the flight controls, just as a an oval shaped ship passed in front of the asteroid they were parked behind. She tore away from the hulking rock, bringing the ship around behind the oval one. On the glass of the cockpit appeared a glowing cross-hair. It wavered around for a moment, before quickly coming to rest over the ships engines, two small jets of flame at the very back of the oval.

 

With a laugh that sent shivers up Gaz's spine, Tak pressed the red button atop the flight controls. Two huge beams of light shot from either side of the ship, and the engines of their foe erupted soundlessly into fragments of metal and a quickly snuffed explosion.

 

“Bullseye!” Tak screeched, pushing forward on the controls and speeding the ship up. “Try to run now!”

 

The came alongside the ship, and with the quick press of a button there was a soft 'ker-thlunk' that echoed through the ship. A green light lit up on the console. “We're docked!” Tak spat, jumping from her chair. “Let's go, we don't want to give them time to regroup!”

 

Gaz followed closely. Clearly Tak knew what to do, but Gaz did not. She decided to maybe just do what Tak says, and not get herself killed. Tak led them to a small, closed door. She pressed herself against the wall to the right of the door, motioning forcibly for Gaz to do the same.

 

She obeyed.

 

Tak gently tapped a glowing green button next to her. The door slid open, and was immediately filled with bolts of glowing green plasma. They whistled through the door frame and splashed against the wall across from it, scorching the metal under the intense heat.

 

Gaz's heart was pounding, and Tak looked less than pleased. “Damn they got here fast!”

 

A spider leg extended from her Pak, shot around the corner, and from it's tip blasted a beam of pink light. Gaz heard a scream and there was a break in the plasma fire.

 

She decided to take the chance, leaned around the corner and squeezed the trigger on her weapon without aiming. The blast of blue light that shot forth from the weapon whistled past the head of one of the four aliens at the other end of the long hallway that connected the two ships.

 

He ducked, even though it missed, and Gaz squeezed the trigger again. She watched the bolt sail through the air and hit one of the aliens in the chest. He had four eyes and orange skin, just like the rest, and all four eyes opened wide as he dropped to the ground. He didn't move.

 

That was two bodies, three to go.

 

Tak slipped her spider leg around the corner again, sending a flurry of pink lasers down the hall. Two of the three aliens were peppered with the beams, falling to the cold metal floor as doom crept upon them.

 

The third, however, was hit once in the side and fell screaming to the floor. He dropped his weapon and clutched at the bleeding wound, yellow liquid seeping through the gaps in his fingers.

 

Tak howeled with laughter, practically skipping down the battle scarred hallway. Gaz followed, not quite as joyous about their victory. Tak crouched over the alien, pulling him closer to her by the color of his white uniform, bearing her wickedly pointed teeth in an even more wicked grin.

 

“What are you hauling, Corron filth?” She hissed, their faces practically touching.

 

Gaz just caught his movement as he reached for something in his belt.

 

“Tak!” She cried, as the Corron drew a sharp knife.

 

He stabbed towards Tak, with a fearsome roar, but his hand stopped dead as it hit an invisible wall.

 

“Oh no, we can't have that, can we?” Tak purred, as an invisible force jerked his arm away and pulled. The Corron screamed, and Gaz heard a gut-wrenching crack as the bones in his arm shattered.

 

The force kept pulling, however, and with a wet tearing sound the arm separated from his body with a spray of bright yellow blood.

 

The Corron wailed, as Gaz watched on in horror. She almost gagged.

 

Tak purred vilely, licking her lips, and smiling. “What. Are you. Hauling?” She repeated, much slower, as the Corron whimpered in fear and anguish.

 

“P-Produce. Meat. Just food! We're just hauling food!” He groaned, his voice cracking.

 

“Jackpot, then.” Tak growled, glancing at Gaz. Gaz couldn't look away from the severed arm lying at her feet, though. It was sickening.

 

She cleared her throat, drawing Gaz's attention. Gaz looked to Tak, as the invisible force quickly snapped his neck.

 

“Focus, Gaz. Don't feel sympathy for these creatures.” She hissed, standing.

 

Gaz shook her head, frowning. “I feel sympathy for no creature, but this... You're _insane_ , Tak.”

 

Tak nodded, smiling. “Yeah, I know.” She sounded pleased. Gaz blinked a few times trying to clear her twisting stomach.

 

“We're clear to loot the place. Corron's never travel with very many crew members. This should be all of them.” Tak stated, stepping over the bodies and striding down the hallway.

 

Gaz couldn't move, staring down at the chaos before here. The Corron she had killed was just lying there, still clutching his weapon in one hand, his lifeless eyes staring up at the ceiling. If she wasn't as tough as she was, she might've cried.

 

What had she gotten herself into?

 

She finally tore herself away from the scene and jogged down the hall to follow Tak. The quickly found the cargo hold, and the two of them began hauling box after box of food back to there own ship. Each time they passed the gruesome scene, Gaz felt less and less like she was going to throw up.

 

Every time she saw the Corron with the unnaturally twisted head, and the stump arm, she felt a little better. Thinking back on the firefight, she remembered how exhilarating it had been to pull the trigger and end another sentient beings life.

 

It almost seemed... _Fun_.

 

Tak's happy attitude certainly helped.

 

They finished after a few hours, their own kitchen now filled with metal crates. Gaz began unloading the food into their fridge as Tak made her way back to the cockpit to un-dock with the Corron ship.

 

Gaz felt a harsh vibration rock the ship, and realized with a start that Tak had destroyed the other ship. That was smart. Don't leave any evidence that could tie them to the crime they had just committed.

 

The murder they had brought about.

 

Gaz smiled, now, the initial disgust she felt at herself now dissipating. Now the disgust she felt was at how weak she had been during the whole thing. It was easy, killing. Easier than it should have been.

 

Tak rejoined her, and began helping the human unload their loot into the kitchen. It was over quickly, with two hands working. They didn't say a word the entire time.

 

“That was fun.” Gaz finally stated, after they had finally emptied the last crate. They now had a fully stocked kitchen.

 

“I was hoping you'd come around.” Tak replied, chuckling. “It've been a shame if you were totally against the slaughter of lesser beings.”

 

Gaz had to chuckle. “I think the initial shock had gotten to me. I was absolutely disgusted. I was weak, and honestly I _have_ to apologize for that.”

 

“And now you're just... Okay?”

 

 

Gaz nodded. She really did feel pretty good about the whole thing. She almost wanted to do it again.

 

“Well, in some human studies,” Tak began, glancing eagerly at Gaz. “They say people who drink black coffee have psychotic tendencies.”

 

Why did she know that?

 

“Well, that sounds about right.” Gaz purred, tensing up. “I'm definitely...”

 

She faked a lunge towards Tak, causing the Irken to jump in startle.

 

“Crazy!”

 

Tak looked angry for a moment, before glancing at Gaz's smiling lips and looking away. She was distracted by something.

 

“You okay? Gaz asked, carefully.

 

“I've been thinking about what you said earlier... About us being a couple.” She breathed quietly, which put Gaz off a little.

 

“Don't tell me you're _already_ breaking up with me?” Gaz sneered, sarcastically. She really wouldn't care all that much, too be honest. It would just make the rest of their little adventure super awkward.

 

“No, no. Nothing like that. It's just...” She paused for a minute, trying to collect her thoughts and find the right words.

 

“It's just that I've never been in a relationship.” She finally uttered.

 

“Never?” Gaz questioned. Two hundred years and she'd never even had a love-life?

 

“Never had the time. My whole life up until earth had been full of things to do. But now... Now I've got so much free time I'm not sure what to do with myself.”

 

“You could do me.” Gaz winked.

 

Tak shivered.

 

“Please be serious. I need to know how this is supposed to work.” She hissed.

 

“It's easy. Basically, we do what we're already doing, but when people ask you tell them I'm your girlfriend. Also, don't try and get with anyone else.”

 

Gaz, with a hiss, added. “I don't treat cheaters very well.”

 

Tak nodded, not quite sure what she meant. She could make this work. It was basically just a title, right? Just tell people that Gaz is her girlfriend.

 

“This is nice. Honestly, for a minute there I thought this whole traveling together thing was going to be absolute hell. It's good to see you can hold a regular conversation.” Gaz stated, sitting slowly at the counter and pouring herself a small drink from a glass of brown liquid. Gaz wasn't sure what it was, it was in some alien language, but it smelled alcoholic and that would definitely help her sleep.

 

Tak joined her, pouring herself a much larger glass. Gaz thought that maybe, just maybe, she should tell the Irken to hold off. Even for an alien, this much alcohol in three days wasn't good for her.

 

“You sure you should be drinking again?” Gaz pondered, sipping her drink.

 

“You are.” Tak replied, gulping down almost half of her own.

 

“Yeah, but this is going to help me sleep. You don't have to drink just because I am.”

 

“It'll help me unwind. The adrenaline from the fight got me real tense.”

 

“Okay, well. Don't go crazy. You're a terrible lightweight.”

 

“And you're any better?”

 

Gaz chuckled. Tak was right, she couldn't hold her liquor very well. Never had.

 

Tak knocked back the second half of her drink, and Gaz watched on. She didn't pour another. Good.

 

Tak smacked her lips and sighed.

 

“Gaz? I honestly like you. You're not like other humans.”

 

Gaz raised an eyebrow questioningly. “What do you mean?”

 

“Well, for starters, you smell nice. Lilacs and blood. Did you know that?”

 

Gaz had to stifle a chuckle, and hold her blush in. Was that really what she smelled like?  
  


“You're genuinely fun to be around...” Tak trailed off, gazing longingly at Gaz's face. Gaz blinked.

 

“You're pretty...”

 

Gaz wasn't sure how it happened, but she found herself thrown to floor with Tak's whole weight on top of her. It wasn't violent, as evident by the soft green lips pressed against her own.

 

She wasn't complaining.

 

Gaz wrapped her arms around Tak's waist, returning the kiss. She tried to take control, pushing her tongue between Tak's razor sharp teeth, but Tak was adamant to be the leader here.

 

Her own long, spindly tongue wrapped around Gaz's and pushed it back, exploring the inside of her mouth with fervent curiosity. Gaz couldn’t suppress a moan as Tak's claws snaked their way into her shirt and across the skin of her stomach.

 

Gaz sucked in a breath as Tak's curious, hungry touch found their way to her breasts, cupping them and following the curve to squeeze them better.

 

And she wasn't even drunk. What a score, Gaz thought.

 

With a sudden pull her shirt was up to her neck, her mouth empty again, and her bra pulled down uncomfortably. It didn't bother her as she felt the wet, warm worm that was Tak's tongue flicked across her nipple before it was taken gently between her teeth.

 

Gaz was practically panting by this point, as Tak's antenna flopped over and brushed across her face. She caught it with her lip and gently sucked on it, wrapping her tongue around the long black appendage.

 

Tak took a sharp breath, her claws digging into Gaz's skin. She had hit the bulls-eye with that one.

 

Gaz held her breath as one of the ferocious hands shot down to her jeans, fiddling lustfully with the button, trying desperately to unhinge it. Gaz really didn't want to do this on the kitchen floor, though, as hot as that was.

 

“To the bedroom~” She groaned, as Tak took a little nibble on her nipple.

 

She eventually released Gaz, pulling her onto her feet and practically shoving her towards the door.

 

“Let's go, let's go!” Tak breathed, pulling her along.

 

The found their way back to the bedroom faster than they ever had before, the doors sliding open before them. As the closed, Gaz was yanked back and slammed against it's metal. It locked, trapping her in with what may as well have been a wild animal.

 

Tak had her fangs sunk into Gaz's neck, which was looking worse for wear over the last few days, and Gaz hissed a little in pain. That hurt. But then she started sucking on Gaz's flesh and the hiss was overcome by a pleasured moan.

 

Tak's hand shot down yet again, immediately slipping int Gaz's panties, and with a sudden jolt she was three knuckles deep inside her.

 

A ripple of pleasure shot through Gaz, and she practically melted into Tak as her fingers began prodding around and gently exploring their new treasure.

 

Gaz reached up into Tak's top, as her antenna gently wavered in front of Gaz's lips. Gaz took to the message and grabbed them with her lips, sucking gently, and reaching up for Tak's breasts. She found them quickly, expertly, and to her great pleasure Tak wasn't wearing a bra.

 

She also didn't have any nipples. Odd.

 

She squeezed the spheres anyway, fondling them with great pleasure. Tak pulled Gaz over to the bed, only taking her fingers out of the human to throw her down on the bed. Tak yanked her own top off, which got Gaz riled up even further. She never would've _dreamed_ she could've been this horny.

 

And for an alien? Not a chance. But here we are, aren't we?

 

Tak gripped at Gaz's jeans, and with a snarl she tugged them down and off the humans body. Gaz shivered, some kind of reflex inside her spread her legs apart and presented to Tak. Tak lipped her lips, almost literally diving right in. She was ferocious.

 

Gaz, with a pleasure she hadn't felt before, nearly screamed as Tak's inhumanly long tongue slithered up inside her.

 

She reached down and gently grabbed her antenna, rubbing them with her thumbs and index fingers, enticing small little whimpers from the alien between her thighs. She felt with blissful indulgence the segmented appendage slither around inside her, tasting her walls and worming its way as deep as it could. She glanced down, right into Tak's eyes, and blushed. The alien had been watching her the entire time.

 

Gaz looked away, biting her lip, but to her displeasure the alien pulled her tongue from within Gaz.

 

And then, suddenly, a hand was wrapped around her throat as Tak straddled her. She forced the frailer human to turn her head and make eye contact.

 

The way Tak's voice came out of her throat was something akin to a purr, but from the meaty throat of a lion. Terrifying, and sensual.

 

“Look at me while I'm _fucking you_.” She snarls, leaning in and bearing her wickedly pointed teeth. Gaz choked, the fingers around her throat sending a pained pleasure into her body.

 

She grinned and clawed down Tak's sides, gripping at the waist of her pants. She tugged, but Tak shook her off and growled.

 

“You think I'd let a groveling worm like you touch me? You'd have to live upto me. Show me what you're worth.”

 

Tak wanted her to dirty talk? How do you dirty talk an Irken?

 

“You're so _tall._ ” Gaz croaked, oxygen being a hard thing to come by lately. She really hoped that was in the right direction.

 

Tak purred acceptably, but she had a look that demanded more.

 

“You're a genius inventor... You're antenna are the most perfect antenna I've ever seen...”

 

At this point Gaz was just listing things off. It seemed t be working. She felt the fingers around her throat loosen and she took a deep breath.

 

“I am _nothing_ compared to you~”

 

“Good, human. You seem to know you're place.” Tak purred finally, leaning in and flicking her tongue across Gaz's lips. She finally released the humans throat, and crawled off of her, laying down onto her back with a suggestive slowness.

 

Gaz took the opportunity to quickly pull the Irkens pants off, a tight, almost latex texture to them.

 

They came off, and apparently Irkens don't wear any kind of undergarments.

 

Gaz was still pleased to see that it was surprisingly human.

 

She leaned in, placing gentle bits along Tak's flawless green skin. It smelled fantastic, like your favorite sugary treat, and tasted almost the same.

 

With each nibble she came closer and closer to Tak's opening, before finally burying her face between the Irken's thighs and flicking her tongue across the oddly pointed clitoris. Tak arced her back, her three fingered hands burying themselves reflexively into Gaz's hair and gripping the purple mess.

 

Gaz grinned, staring up at the Irken while she went to work moving her tongue inside and tasting the incredibly sweet walls of Irken privates. It tasted like sugar water.

 

Tak was viably melting now, her whole body shivering as the sounds that left her throat got louder and louder. Gaz took notice to...

 

Holy shit.

 

Her clit had been expanding, a sort of tendril sliding out of its hole and stretching into the light.

 

Gaz pulled back, staring at the thick wiggling tendril, and then glanced at Tak with an eyebrow raised. “What the fuck is that?”

 

Tak rolled her eyes. Without pupils it was hard for Gaz to tell, but the way the purple orbs shifted was obvious.

 

“Irkens are hermaphroditic.” She stated simply, as if Gaz were supposed to already know that.

 

“That's...” Gaz couldn't find the words. The Irkens tendril seemed to flick, and waver, like it had a sentience of it's own.

 

“Put it in your mouth, stupid human.” Tak growled, impatiently.

 

Gaz had never done that before. Uh. Okay, here goes nothing.

 

She leaned in, trying to find a good way to take the tendril, as it continued to whip about. Each attempt to grab it with her lips was thwarted by a sudden jerk in the other direction.

 

“Are you doing this on purpose?” She growled, digging her nails into the Irken's thighs.

 

“You shouldn't be talking...!” Tak snarled, gripping a fistful of Gaz's hair and pulling her head down. The tendril pushed it's way past Gaz's teeth, and into her mouth. It touched the back of Gaz's throat and the human gagged, slapping the Irkens hand away and pulling back.

 

She took a deep breath and hissed. “This'll be on my terms, Tak, or not at all.”

 

The Irken groaned in annoyance but nodded. Gaz gripped the tendril, held it steady, and wrapped her lips around it again. She began a gentle rhythm of bobbing and sucking, making sure to insert two fingers of her free hand into Tak's opening.

 

The Irken moaned loudly, her fists balling up the bedsheets, and her antenna whipped around excitedly. Gaz thought, for a moment, that her name slipped from between the Irken's teeth.

 

Gaz, starting to get a little sore in the mouth, was relieved when Tak finally made a move for her to get up. She obeyed, pulling the tendril out of her mouth with a pop. She flicked her tongue around the inside of her mouth. The tendril had left behind a sticky, sweet residue. It wasn't bad, just... weird.

 

Tak pushed Gaz down onto the bed, crawling over her and and resting her pelvis against Gaz's. The tendril flicked over Gaz's clit and send a pleasured shiver through her. Tak leaned in and lovingly pressed her lips against the humans, pushing her tongue into Gaz's mouth.

 

Gaz accepted it, running her hands down Tak's bare form, grabbing her ass and giving it a playful squeeze.

 

Tak chuckled, as Gaz felt the tendril wriggle and search. She shifted slightly, spreading her legs and bringing them up to Tak's sides.

 

The feeling of penetration was almost instantaneous, and rough. It hurt for just a second, as the tendril fit itself inside her, but the pleasure came as Tak began a rhythmic thrusting. Gaz squeezed her thighs around Tak and groaned, her nails biting the Irkens skin, and leaving deep marks.

 

The Irken hissed with pleasure, leaning in and resting her face in the crook of Gaz's neck, as the bed shook slightly with each thrust she made.

 

Gaz gently grabbed an antenna with one hand, stroking the base with her fingers as lightly as she could manage. Tak moaned, her body shivering with delight. Gaz relished in the feeling of the tendril inside her, and even past the thrusting she could still feel it wriggling and exploring her.

 

It was, in all honesty, the best thing she had ever felt. Way better than toys.

 

Tak shifted her head, just enough, for the antenna Gaz wasn't playing with to fall across her face. Gaz looked up slightly so it brushed across her lips, and caught it. She sucked gently on the end, slowly circling the tip with her tongue.

 

Tak made noises Gaz wasn't sure she _could_ make.

 

“Ah, by the _Tallest,_ this is fantastic!” Tak chuckled, through labored breaths.

 

Gaz, releasing the tendril, moaned out as Tak pushed herself deeper. “I didn't think you had it in you! Thought you're- _ah -_ Pak and all.”

 

Tak continued her rhythm, never breaking. “It's like something in me just turned off...!”

 

She went for a few more seconds, before coming to a dead stop. She began slowly raising away from the human. Her eyes were squinted, her grow furrowed. Her antenna slowly, and spasmodically, flicked around.

 

Angry suspicion flashed behind her eyes.

 

“What's wrong, why did you stop?” Gaz whined, disheveled. She wanted more, she wasn't done yet.

 

“Something in me is turned off.” She growled, before shooting up and off the bed. She was dressed quicker than Gaz could blink, and had pulled a small pad from her Pak.

 

Gaz shuffled to the edge of the bed, doing her best to speedily re-dress. “What do you mean? What's going on?”

 

Some symbols Gaz recognized as the Irken language scrolled across the screen. Gaz cursed herself for not following Dib's lessons on Irken translation.

 

The text was purple all the way through, until a sudden red strip shot by. Tak tapped it angrily. “There!” She screeched.

 

“What is it?” Gaz asked, now fully dressed and standing next to Tak.

 

“A virus, remotely injected into my coding. Nothing serious, just a few inhibitors... Hold on I'm going to re-trace.”

 

Gaz waited while she typed a string of commands into the pad, and after a while a big green word appeared, looming over everything. Tak snarled.

 

“Fucking Vortians!” She cried, and Gaz had to struggle to keep up as she dashed from the bedroom.

 

Vortians? Out here.. Where ever they were?

 

The entered the cockpit, Tak swinging herself into the pilots seat. Ahead, just a few hundred yards from the ship, was a Vortian ship that seemed to tremble at the Irkens almost tangible rage.

 

Gaz recognized, with a pang of shock, that the ship was the one they had seen at the station a few nights ago.

 


	4. The Cannibal

 

Tak slammed her fist down on the communications button, her chest heaving with unbridled fury.

 

The class before them immediately burst into static, and the Vortian captain hadn't so much appeared on screen before she was screeching at him.

 

“What do you think you're doing, you scum!?” She roared, the Vortian recoiling at her words.

 

“What ever do you mean, Irken?” He asked, feigning ignorance. Tak sneered and bore her vicious teeth.

 

“Then why, pray tell, was a virus injected into my Pak coding from _your_ ship?”

 

The Vortian chuckled nervously, glancing off screen, before a sweat broke out on his forehead.

 

“Heh, I don't... I don't know what you're... GET US OUTTA HERE!”

 

The communication was cut immediately, and as the cockpit glass returned to normal the Vortian craft and already turned tail and ran. Tak snarled and sent the ship into full speed, rocketing after them. She brought up the aiming systems, but was firing wildly. Beams of yellow light shot out in all directions, zipping past the Vortian ship as it attempted to make evasive maneuvers.

 

One stray beam hit the side of the Vortian craft, blasting a huge hole in the hull. It bled thick gray smoke as the ship continued to beeline away from the the _Big Mother_ in a desperate but fleeting attempt at escape.

 

The _Mother_ was faster.

 

The Vortian craft made a sharp right, angling itself down. It was quicker on the turns, as Tak struggled to get their ship to drift around to follow, but once again they were upon the Vortian ship. Beams of light continued to pound at the Vortian hull, tearing huge chunks of metal away.

 

In the distance was a lone asteroid, lit dimly by a nearby star, and on it Gaz could make out what looked to be structures built into the asteroids rocky body.

 

“Is that their base?” Gaz asked, pointing towards it.

 

“I don't know, but even if they get inside I'll tear apart everyone who dares stand in my way!” Tak replied, her voice now nothing more than a menacing hiss as she concentrated on firing on the Vort ship.

 

It was expertly dodging most of the beams, however, and it wasn't long until they were upon the asteroid. It was smaller than Gaz had thought, the structures making up what would probably be comparable to an apartment building.

 

Tak brought the ship to a slow down, as the Vortian ship slipped itself inside the exposed hangar bay and out of sight. Tak, growling obscenities under her breath, studied the facility with a watchful gaze.

 

“No defenses. It's not military, and it's definitely not Vortian.” She hissed, glancing up at Gaz.

 

“So who runs this place...?” Gaz asked in reply.

 

“I don't care.” Tak spat, pushing the flight stick and bringing to ship down into the hangar. They passed through a wavering wall of light, and sat there ship down behind the Vortian craft. The hangar was quickly filling with dark smoke, but it was breathable. There wasn't any sign of the Vortians, however, and a small ramp extending from under their ship gave hint that they had vacated it.

 

“Where's your gun?” Tak asked quietly.

 

“Kitchen.” Gaz replied, turning on her heel and making way for it. After retrieving, and turning it on, they exited their own ship.

 

They slunk stealthily against the edge of their ship, one of Tak's spider legs extended and glowing warmly at the tip. She spun around the corner of the _Mother_ finding nothing she released the breath held in her lungs.

 

“Let's go hunting.” Tak whispered, her face alight with a murderous smile that made Gaz just the slightest bit afraid.

 

She nodded, and the two made way for the only open door in the hangar. The hallway was empty, just lit enough by florescent bulbs to make out the surroundings. The metal was a dull green-gray, smooth and scarred by the occasional line of bolts and welding marks.

 

Gaz kept her weapon to bare. The eerie silence and the dimly lit corridors reminded her of a game she played once, about zombies on a space ship. It seriously wigged her out.

 

Tak's antenna were making slow, deliberate movements, as her eyes darted around, watching the shadows. “Do you smell that?” She whispered, shooting a side-eye glance at the human next to her.

 

Gaz shook her head. The only scent she could make out was stale, filtered air and the metal walls. Tak grumbled something.

 

“What do you smell?” Gaz asked.

 

“Blood. Irken blood.” She hissed, carefully watching a door to the right. It didn't open. A red light indicated it was locked, anyway.

 

They passed the door, the hallway seeming to stretch into eternity, and they continued to walk.

 

“Something about this place... It's not right.” Tak eventually mumbled.

 

“You're tellin' me...” Gaz replied, quietly, doing her best to keep her weapon trained on all of the many shadows.

 

There was a soft whooshing behind them, the door they had passed opening. They spun instantly, weapons trained. Before them was an Irken female, with gorgeous emerald eyes and short, stumpy antenna. They twitched with a randomness that wasn't common, Gaz took notice of. No rhythm or sense to it, just random little flicks of movement. She was a good foot and a half shorter than either Tak and Gaz. There was something small and silver clutched in her fist.

 

“Drop the weapon and identify yourself!” Tak barked, Her spider leg rearing up into an attack stance. She was tense. Gaz kept her weapon on the Irken, her finger hovering over it's trigger.

 

“My name is Gatra, serial number _four-one-eight-six-zero-nine-three-one_ ,” She drew out the words as if she was spiteful of them, however her voice was soothing and almost tranquil. She wasn't scared of Tak or Gaz at all. “Designate status: Scientific Research and Development.”

 

Tak scowled, and grunted loudly. “Okay, that was part two. Now go back to part one and _drop the fucking weapon._ ”

 

The Irken chuckled, which made Tak visibly angry. “You've got to the count of fucking three, Gatra, or I'm gonna burn a whole right between your eyes!” She screeched.

 

“One!”

 

The Irkens mouth split into a menacing grin, her teeth stained a soft pink.

 

“Two!”

 

Gatra blinked, once, very slowly.

 

“Three.” She whispered.

 

The weapon was up in a flash, its end crackling with electricity. Gaz didn't even have time to blink before Tak yelped out in anguish. Looking over to her, Gaz saw that her eyes had gone dull. The lights on her Pak were flickering, dim and weak. She dropped to her knees, her mouth agape and her antenna twitching. She fell forward onto her face.

 

“No!” Gaz cried, bringing her weapon to bare. She was hit by a jolt of electricity, and almost bit her tongue off as her jaws snapped close. She felt her entire body tense up with paralysis, as her rifle slipped from her fingers. Her hands dropped to her sides, as the border around her vision grew black.

 

She fell, backwards, and the last thing she saw before she lost consciousness was Gatra smiling over her.

 

“How lovely.” The Irken whispered, her voice warped and muffled.

 

“I've never had one of you.”

 

*****

 

Tak's vision came back to her, slowly but surely, and she blinked to hurry the process. A harsh surgical light shone over her body, which she realized was bare. She had been stripped.

 

She attempted to sit up, but found that she couldn't move her wrists or ankles. She looked down, and found that she had been strapped into a table with her arms stretched out like a crucifixion.

 

Easy answer to this problem.

 

She reached out with her implant, attempted to use her telekinesis to undo the bindings, but immediately realized something was wrong. She brought her antenna down to her forehead, and found that there was a small hole where her implant should've been.

 

That's not good at all.

 

The table was fashioned with a large indent towards the occupants back, totally encasing Tak's Pak in a metal prison. So she wasn't using her spider legs, either. She would have to find another way out of this.

 

Someone giggled to Tak's left, and the Irken had to strain her neck to see who it was. Standing there, alight by the surgical lamp, was Gatra. She held Tak's psionic implant in her hand lovingly, smiling at the purple eyed Irken.

 

“This is a very interesting piece of equipment you have here. Very interesting indeed. I almost wasn't sure what it was, until that needle slipped out of your brain. Ingenious, honestly.”

 

Gatra lowered her head, the light casting an ominous shadow over her face. “Too bad it won't be used ever again.

 

Shit. Shit not good. Tak needed to find a way out of these restraints, and she needed to keep Gatra talking as long as she could.

 

“Why are you doing this? What do you want?” Tak hissed, trying to discreetly wriggle her wrists in an attempt to get herself free.

 

“Hm. For such an incredible mind, you don't seem to catch on.” Gatra giggled, leaning forwards until she was eye to eye with Tak. “My dear I'm going to eat you.”

 

Tak felt her Squeedlyspooch flip. A cannibal? Tak knew, of course, that Irken cannibalism was incredibly common almost three thousand years ago, but she had thought that they had all been hunted down and executed.

 

“Why are you way out here, cannibal scum?” Tak spat, as Gatra walked around behind her and appeared on the other side. Where was Gaz? Was she dead already? Tak feared to think the worst.

 

“Irken scouts get curious about seemingly abandoned installations. They stop in, I kill them, I eat them. It's simple really.” Gatra replied, almost sing-songy. Tak noticed the scalpel now clutched between her fingers.

 

She needed to keep her talking. She could feel the restraints around her wrists loosening.

 

“How are you surviving on Irken meat alone? The Irken diet is almost entirely sugar and carbohydrate based... The protein in the meat shouldn't be enough to keep you alive.” She pondered, in a very 'I'm-not-trying-to-distract-you' manner.

 

“Did you think that all that sugar wouldn't make it into the muscle and the blood? It's not a difficult thing to comprehend, delicious. What is your name, by the way?” Gatra replied, running her fingers down Tak's side. This was good, though. She was getting her distracted with conversation.

 

“My name is Tak.” She replied.

 

“Beautiful name. And what about that creature you were with. Your slave, I assume?”

 

“No. That's Gaz. She's my... Girlfriend.”

 

Gatra raised an eyebrow at this. “An Irken soldier with a love interest? What an absurd idea. Is it true?”

 

Tak nodded, staring Gatra down. She was making her way towards Tak's clawed, talon-like feet, and coming back up on her left.

 

“Where is she? Did you kill her already?” Tak couldn't help but notice the worry that soaked her voice.

 

Gatra shook her head with a sincere smile. “No, No. She is resting comfortably. She's next after all. I've never seen such an interesting alien. She must taste delightful. Nothing like those Vortians. I might just dispose of them, there meat will be far too tough.”

 

Tak relished in the loosening strap, just a little more and her hand would be-

 

“Oh no no, dearest.” Gatra hummed, tightening the strap back up. “We can't be having that. In fact I might just have to start cutting here.”

 

The room took a startling more deadly feel as Gatra brought the end of the scalpel against her soft green flesh.

 

She cut. A long red line along the underside of her arm, which bled a the slightly pink, clear liquid that was Irken blood. Tak hissed in pain, gritting her teeth.

 

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!

 

She stopped just before Tak's armpit, and then brought the blade around her arm, cutting a thin red band. She brought it down to the part of her wrist that wasn't covered by the strap, and made another circular cut.

 

“Do you know the great thing about Irken flesh?” Gatra asked, smiling the whole time. She slipped her claws into the cut, and the sudden jolt in pain caused tears to well up in Tak's eyes and a small cry escape her lips.

 

“It just comes right off.”

 

She pulled, the now free strip of flesh peeling away from the muscle and tendon underneath like a wet piece of paper.

 

Tak screamed in agony. The feeling of the flesh being flayed away was too much for her to handle. Her Pak shot her warning after warning.

 

[WARNING- OUTER SKIN COMPROMISED! REGENERATIVES OPERATING AT MAXIMUM CAPACITY!]

 

[WARNING- COMBAT SYSTEMS NON-RESPONISVE! RETREAT!]

 

[WARNING- MUSCLE FIBERS EXPOSED! EXPOSURE TO INFECTION PROBABLE! SEEK IMMEDIATE MEDICAL ATTENTION!]

 

No fucking duh!

 

Tak struggled against her restraints, but that only made Gatra peel the skin faster. It only lasted a few seconds, but finally the entirety of the skin covering Tak's arm had come away, leaving a disgusting looking mesh of exposed pink muscle strands.

 

Tak trembled, doing everything in her power not to sob. She _would not_ give this psychopath the satisfaction. Gatra held the skin up to the light, like some kind of wet, green, gut wrenching blanket. “This is so good when you cut it into little strips and fry it up like bacon.” She purred, licking her lips.

 

Tak felt cold, the blood quickly draining from her flayed arm and pooling on the ground. The only thing keeping her conscious despite the shock was sudden bursts of adrenaline administered by her Pak.

 

Her eyelids fluttered regardless, as she grit her teeth so tight she could practically feeel them shattering.

 

“Shall we do the other? Then we'll start on the legs!”

 

*****

 

It was the muffled screaming that finally roused Gaz from her sleep. She was up almost instantly, jumping off the little cot and standing. Where was she?

 

A cell. Bleak, smooth walls. A door ahead, no controls. To her right she could make out the agonized screams coming from a tortured Tak.

 

FUCK.

 

She slammed her shoulder against the door, but surprise surprise, it didn't budge. And now her shoulder was sore.

 

She glanced around the little barred window, there was a control panel just outside. She squeezed her arm through the door, reaching desperately for the panel. It was just out of reach, a mere two inches from her fingers. If she could just... A little bit more...

 

She groaned, her arm feeling like it was about to snap, when suddenly there was a soft ding. She quickly retracted her arm from the hole, just before it was swept up into the door as it disappeared into the ceiling. She gazed at her fingertips.

 

She hadn't touched the panel.

 

She shook her head as another scream rang out. She carefully glanced side to side, finding the hall empty. To the left of the door rested her weapon, casually placed and handled.

 

Mediocre.

 

She snatched it up, and headed to the right of the cell. Another scream echoed down the hall. Gaz's heart was racing, her palms sweating, but her grip and her nerve never faltered. She had to get to Tak.

 

The door opened before her, and a horrific sight befell her. Tak was strapped, nude, to a large metal table. Her left arm was completely devoid of skin, the muscles and veins throbbing harshly, and huge chunks of skin were missing from her abdomen and and legs.

 

Standing next to her, bloody scalpel in hand and a shocked expression on her face, was Gatra.

 

“How did you...?” She began, slowly rising from the fresh cut she was making. She couldn't finish, as Gaz snapped her weapon up and sent a round sailing through the air.

 

Gatra, quicker than Gaz could even blink, ducked and let out an ear splitting screech as her spider legs shot from her Pak. “Oh, you _bitch_!” She cried.

 

Her spider leg lashed out, striking Gaz across the cheek like a whip, a splitting a good sized gash across her face. She was flung into the wall with the attack, slamming into it as her weapon left her grip and flew across the room.

 

Gaz's vision was filled with stars and little black dots, as she slumped down, losing feeling in her legs for a moment. She groaned, blinking, and glanced up to see Gatra smiling wickedly. “Good try, little insect. But now it's time to chop you-”

 

There was a splash of pink blood, as Gatra roared in agony and reached back to clutch at her shoulder.

 

She slid to the side, away from the attacker as she clawed at the scalpel that had dug itself deep into shoulder.

 

Tak was huffing, watching her step away and scream with half closed eyes. She had managed to pull her good arm from it's restraints. She glanced at Gaz and smirked.

 

“I've never had dinner that _fought_ this hard!” Gatra snarled, ripping the scalpel from her back and clutching it between a tight fist. Gaz caught the glowing blue light of her weapon from the corner of the room, and took the opportunity to leap for it.

 

She felt a spike of pain in the back of her calf, and cried out in agony. She hit the ground face first, and glanced over her shoulder to the scalpel buried way to deep into her leg. She groaned, tears welling in her eyes, and she reached back to pull it out.

 

She was flipped onto her back, Gatra's bloody claws wrapped around her neck. The Irken was smiling maniacally, her zipper-like teeth bore and grinding against each other.

 

Gaz gasped, found no air, and desperately clawed at the Irkens hands. She had to get out.

 

“I'll rip your miserable organs from your body and make a nice little stew, I think! Maybe I'll keep your head preserved as a trophy! Oh the adrenaline, oh the excitement!” The cannibal laughed, squeezing Gaz's soft flesh even tighter.

 

The corners of Gaz's vision began to go dark, her face burning with numb-prickles. Her strength began to leave her, every ounce of will she had left was propelling her fingers and scratching at the Irkens face. The alien wasn't letting up, however.

 

Gaz could feel her consciousness fading.

 

Suddenly the Irken took a sharp breath, the flesh around her neck seeming to retract as if pressure was being put on it. She released Gaz, who took a mighty breath and coughed violently, as the invisible force pulled her up and into the air.

 

To Gaz's right, Tak had her hand outstretched in a fist, her implant now stuck back into the hole in her head. A fury burned in her eyes that seemed to light the room even brighter. The scalpel tore itself out of Gaz's leg, which made the woman yelp with pain. It floated into the air, positioned itself, and shot forward.

 

With an huge splash of blood, it pierced the left emerald colored eye and destroyed the ocular organ.

 

Gatra screamed as she was released, Tak slumping back into the table and taking long, labored breaths. The Irken cannibal clutched at the now empty eye socket, yowling in pain. “My eye! My beautiful eye!”

 

She darted from the room, leaving a trail of quickly spilling pink blood. Gaz snatched up the weapon and took aim, in case she decided to come back. Her quickly quieting footsteps and ghostly wailing told otherwise.

 

“Gaz...” Tak croaked, which prompted the human onto her feet. Gaz grimaced as she put weight on her damaged leg, the bones probably fractured, but the adrenaline pumping through her system would keep her going for a while. She dashed to Tak's side, undoing the other arm strap, and then the ankles. Pink blood was pooling rapidly under the table.

 

Gaz lifted Tak off the table with a strained heave, making sure to throw her good arm around her shoulders to give the Irken some leverage.

 

“You did well, human... You did very well...” Tak breathed, her body heavy with exhaustion and her eyes drooping worryingly.

 

“Save you're breath, Tak, you can't die on me.” Gaz grunted, pulling the Irken out the door. She glanced left, then right. She didn't recognize this hallway.

 

“Which way...” She mumbled aloud.

 

“Go left... Follow the blood....” Tak replied quietly.

 

Gaz obeyed, following the trail of blood splatters left behind by the cannibal in her retreat. They winded through hallway after hallway, before finally passing through a door that lead emptied into the hangar.

 

The Vortian ship was gone.

 

Gaz breathed a sigh of relief to see the _Mother_ unharmed. She dragged Tak aboard, the Irken mumbling incoherent nonsense under her breath.

 

“What are you saying, baby, talk to me.” Gaz stated, a little contradictory to her previous statement.

 

“Dib... Medical... Dib...” The wounded Irken mumbled, her eyes fluttering closed.

 

Gaz cursed under her breath, namely because the alien was losing consciousness, but also because she would have to see her stupid brother again.

 

She sighed. This was probably the only choice, Dib did have all kinds of high-tech medical equipment in his little lab.

 

After finally dragging Tak into the cockpit, Gaz gently set the Irken down into seat and hit the auto-pilot. It set course for earth, of which Gaz wasn't sure how it knew, but the ship lurched forwards as it left the station and shot off into the inky blackness.

 

With nothing else to do, Gaz slumped down against the wall and and watched in silence as the Tak took breath after labored breath in unconsciousness. Gaz couldn't help but worry about the alien. She hoped she made it through this.

 

Dib better not fuck this up.

 


End file.
